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The boss has found a way to describe the differences. I for one do not crave dominance. In fact I may bristle if someone would attempt to dominate me.
I have found myself responding to authority, and when done in the gentle but inflexible way that Gary has, it is rather hot.
But only his authority.
Others I can barely tolerate if directed at me.
Now, I will admit that Gary's authority which in the arena of the bedroom does in fact turn into dominance. And I slip into my very submissive mind-frame and we connect.
I am not service oriented per se. But I do follow directions and since we have moved into me needing to submit in a rather strong way, Gary has had to become more directive and use his authority to produce some highly charged exchanges of energy. But I could simply not even imagine myself responding like this to any other person in this world.
It has taken us years to build to this place. It is restricted to us. Him dominating me, me submitting to him. We are not moving into some rather mild restraints. Where they were more of the invisible kind for so long, they are now tangible and leather.