https://bit.ly/3JaD0It https://bit.ly/3GuGzI1 https://bit.ly/3Hx1M5g https://bit.ly/3GHFUTK https://bit.ly/3st3MVQ https://bit.ly/3rAyBsE https://bit.ly/34o5yj7 https://bit.ly/3JaD377 https://bit.ly/34vdQFM https://bit.ly/3uDRiNR by untamedcherub on 2005 Apr 29 - 16:21 | reply to this comment Definitions, scenes and lifestyles Greetings to all, The seemingly endless debates of definition between BDSM and Taken In Hand seems bizarre to me. Classification, imo, is far less important than context. Or to paraphrase, how you walk, is much more telling than how you talk. In my experience, it boils down neatly into two major groupings: those who scene, and those who lifestyle. Neither group is better or worse, neither has more legitimacy, and neither are mutually exclusive (iow you can do both lifestyle and scenes). The major difference between the two approaches have to do, imo, with pre-planning. Scenes are almost always pre-planned, where lifestyles are much more ad-hoc (although they can still be tightly structured). I have lived a D/s lifestyle for the better part of 30 years, with more than an occasional scene along the way. While no expert, I feel that the years have taught me something. And perhaps the most important thing I have learned is, that if you intend to be successful in either scenes or lifestyles, you need to be balanced, secure, and with a fair degree of self-confidence and self-esteem. Power can be a dangerous tool when improperly wielded. To my way of thinking, it doesn't really matter where you learned, as long as you can handle yourself in a responsible mature manner. I leave the splitting of the hairs of definitions to those who seem to enjoy the process.